ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister has told voters today in New South Wales that they’re sick of politics and that this election isn’t simply a popularity contest between two men from Sydney, it’s about who and what they represent.
“The Labor Party is seeking to assassinate my character,” said Scott Morrison this morning on the NSW South Coast.
“But I feel like I’m just like Archduke Franz Ferdinand’s wife, Sophie, who was shot in the car next to Franz. That bloke who shot Franz and plunged the world into its first world war, he never wanted to shoot that woman. She was just in the same car,”
“I feel there are some parallels with that experience as there are with myself and the media. I want voters to remember that this election isn’t just about me, it’s about what party they want to govern.”
When asked by our reporter if Morrison thought his party, which some in the self-congratulatory left-wing media have referred to as ‘reprobates’, was the best one to lead the country despite all the controversies, Morrison was blunt.
“Of course, you stupid cunt,”
“It’s not like I’m going to get up here and tell you to not vote for the Coalition if you don’t like our policies.”
That leaves the ball in Opposition leader Anthony Albanese’s court.
Albo spoke to reporters in Ricky Ponting’s hometown this morning, where he said a few things about some things but nobody there can really remember what they were.
One of the parts that our reporter could remember was that he expects voters will vote for Labor as “a laugh” to see what will happen under his government.
“The people of, uh, Australia are a, uh, good-humoured bunch,” he said.
“I expect them to get to the ballot box, in 40, uh, days time and just say ‘fuck it’ and put a 1 next to their local Labor candidate. Or, if, uh, they’re in a regional area, they will, uh, draw a picture of a cow or duck in, uh, protest then go back to living their lives,”
“Because, uh, imagine if the Greens have the balace, of, uh, power. It will be like that Kyle Sandilands hosting the Oscars. One minute everyone would be laughing, then you, know, Kyle has had some star come up and slap him but you know Kyle, he’s from the Bay up in Brissie so he’d job him right back but probably hit him too hard and hurt the bloke. So yeah, you know what I mean.”
More to come,
