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Oliver Gosford had been scratching his nether region when he thought he’d have a cheeky pull. Opening up his browser, Oliver brought up his go-to porn website and began the arduous task of finding the right video.
“It’s not easy finding the right video, and the recommendations are pretty shit,” says Oliver.
“I once made the mistake of clicking on a stepsister video. Now it’s all I get.”
Oliver says he continued his search, pausing every now and then to bring up a video and give it a test run.
After a slew of videos Oliver finally found the perfect one.
“I was like ‘Thank God, legit amateurs,” says Oliver, who was ready to settle in for the long haul.
“I really thought I’d found it”
Oliver’s said he was about to rub one out when the slow build of an unfamiliar techno beat started playing.
“I was bloody furious,” says Oliver.
“It had taken me a goddamn hour to find the video and then that shit?!”
Oliver said he tried skipping ahead in case it was just an intro song but found that it lasted the entire 13:41 secs of the video. He states that he finally gave in and turned to a ‘Step Sister plays FIFA’ video out of sheer desperation.
“It’s like that every time,” says Oliver.
“I’ll spend ages searching for the perfect video and end up watching the same shit.”
“Honestly, I wish they had the sort of AI Spotify does,” laments Oliver.
“Like give you recommended videos you actually like.”
Oliver has now gotten some of his tech mates involved and has launched a Kickstarter to fund the creation of a perfect porn algorithm.
It’s reported that he managed to secure the entire funding in less than three hours.
More to cum.
