ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
In what is perhaps the most ambitious signing in recent NRL history, the Canberra Raiders have reportedly offered a three-year deal to a visiting Englishman currently visiting the nation’s capital.
Our head of state, King Charles, was wrapping up a diplomatic visit to the Australian War Memorial when Raiders coach Ricky Stuart spotted him strolling with his entourage and wasted no time making his move. Sources close to the club suggest Stuart had been looking for just the right Englishman to round out his squad for next season, and as luck would have it, he found the perfect candidate wearing a skin-tight black shirt, painted-on jeans and brogues with no-show socks.
“I didn’t care that he was here for official business,” said Stuart.
“I saw the stature and confidence, and thought, ‘This bloke’s got the leadership we need.’ It’s not every day you sign a player with the ability to command an entire country or whatever he does.”
Stuart, who has a well-documented lust for English imports, explained that His Majesty ticks all the right boxes.
“He might be a bit long in the tooth and the offer reflects that but he’s tough, he’s seen a bit of life, and he’s had to take more hit ups than Germany throughout his life.” said the coach.
“Plus, we know he’ll handle Canberra winters no worries. Look at the bloke, born and raised in public housing with no central heating!”
When asked for comment by The Advocate, Buckingham Palace confirmed the King was a free agent and free to make his own enquires as to his playing future.
More to come.
