ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister is thanking God today that it’s Friday, which means he gets two whole days off before the journalists resume their job of making him appear to be incompetent and supremely out-of-his-depth.
Earlier this morning, however, Scott Morrison was asked to explain what inflation was, why it’s bad and why Anthony Albanese’s government would make it higher than what it is now.
“Well, if you liken the concept of inflation to a good story,” he said before chuckling to himself.
“Nobody likes a true story and when they do, there’s usually a bit of artistic licence. Like take that movie, Apollo 13, great movie just quietly, Vale Bill Paxton and so on, you know that’s not a documentary, it’s a dramatisation of events,”
“When I announce policy, it’s kind of like that. Like how the other day when all those Afghanis who helped us fight the Taliban got left for dead on the tarmac in Kabul. Yeah, well, we brought most of them here. Right? Good on me. Anyway, what you blokes don’t know is that they’re having to reapply constantly to keep their visa status. If we decided they didn’t help enough, then back to Baghdad, uh, Kabul for you!”
“It’s not like they’re important to our economic recovery from the virus. I know we gave a Victoria Cross to SASR Trooper Donaldson for running a hundred metres through enemy fire to save an interpreter, among other things, though,”
“So me saving the Afghanis was another example of my inflating the truth because yes, I technically did it, but I’m actually not at the same time.”
Morrison chuckled further.
“And when I said there’d be no mandated vaccine, well, if you want access to child care and child care subsidies, guess what? That’s right, you need to be vaccinated. Inflation.”
“Any other brainbusters or can I go?”
More to come.
