LOUIS BOURKE CultureCONTACT

During an after-hours work and self-loathing session, office worker Chris Guest (33) learnt something interesting about his new co-worker Liam King (27).

Since King started three weeks ago, Guest has learnt very little about him other than he likes to occasionally say ‘fo shizzle’ instead of ‘yes’ and that he sometimes appears to eat a whole rotisserie chicken for lunch.

One unmissable detail about the mystery colleague is his love for wearing man-sized children’s shoes that reflect his playful side at the expense of others failing to take him seriously.

“I’m a bit of a sneaker freak,” said the guy who’s actually more of a cocaine freak.

“Managed to snag these bad boys second hand. Good deal.”

As the colleagues worked for free in an effort that would go unrecognised by their senior leadership overlords, Guest asked if King would mind if he played a couple of tunes.

“You fuck with the Wu?” asked Guest as the Kung-Fu movie sample gave way to an iconic ‘90s artificial drum beat.

As it turned out, self-described sneaker freak Liam King did ‘fuck with’ the Wu-Tang Clan despite being reminded by the Staten Island-based rap group that they are best not to be fucked with.

“Oh sick, CREAM! Do you know this song?”

Over the sounds of the explicitly violent lyrics, the co-workers bonded about their love for all things that make them feel young while reminding their juniors how wise and superior they still are.

“Why have they never made a decent ninja turtles movie?”

MORE TO COME.

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