ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister says he’s struggling to get his head around the concept of urea as he told journalists in Sydney today that he’s trying to find out what it is and why all these rural people want it so bad.
Scott Morrison, in the company of a small collection of Nationals MPs, tried to spell it out to reporters as Ag Minister David Littleproud and deposed leader Michael McCormack shrugged.
“So, urea is like ‘the spice’ from the movie Dune, which I thought was too hard to follow. I saw it at the pictures over the weekend and despite the rave reviews, it just wasn’t for me,” said Morrison.
“Tell you what, when Australia makes a film that as funny and entertaining as Grown Ups 2, that’ll be the day. I mean, the depressing garbage that gets made here each year. Like that one with Eric Bana. I go to the pictures to laugh with the family, not see a family get shot by some little chode with a gambling debt. Sorry, spoilers. Anyway, what was I saying?”
“Oh yeah. Spice Melange is essentially urea. It makes everything better, like diesel.”
David Littleproud nodded and added his own two cents.
“Yeah. You know how diesel soot gets the moot? Yeah, when you put urea in diesel, you get no soot but you still get the moot. It’s a win-win.”
Scott thanked David for his input.
“Ah, it also makes you, ah, live longer and more healthy? I don’t know. All I know is that there’s only one place you can get it, as far as I know. It’s not Arakun or whatever that planet was called in Dune. It’s China – and we are in China’s shit books at the moment so no urea for us,”
“You can thank Penny Wong for that.”
More to come.
