ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local woman who left Betoota Heights megachurch, PreyClap, has been questioning her decision to do so after learning what “scissoring” is from a kid’s book.
Gloria Danes told The Advocate that she was raised in the church but ultimately decided to leave earlier this year after spending the first 29 years of her life swaying to the beat of the Jesus drum.
But after reading about a new sexual education book in the news, Ms. Danes said she spotted it at her local Big W and decided to see what all the fuss was about.
Ms. Danes prefaced her conversation with our reporter by explaining that despite being in the church and living a life geared towards keeping God and his polite son Jesus happy, they did know a thing or two about sex.
“Oh, like, we know about the mechanics and stuff, you know. I mean, we aren’t sheltered that much from reality and what’s out there on offer,” she said.
“But like, we know that it’s forbidden and we can’t do it. Anyway, I guess we were pretty sheltered from some things. Like, obviously we didn’t talk about, you know, sex between two women or two men. I mean, it’s conservative Christianity. Again, like we’d heard about what the mechanics are, but we didn’t know what they actually did. Well, I guess I do know.”
Ms. Danes said she flicked through the book and was immediately confronted by the graphic nature of it.
“It’s full of dicks,” she said.
“Everywhere.”
But one section of the book, she said, made her question whether leaving the shelter of her gargantuan megachurch was the right thing.
“The scissoring part,” she said.
“What the fuck is that? Do people actually do that? I don’t get it. Why does that lady only have one arm? How can she get good purchase on the bed or couch or rug or I don’t know, linoleum floor? Do they put a tarp down? Do men also scissor? Can you scissor in a way that God approves of? There are so many questions I have, but this book has only shown me this smut with no answers.”
“Why did I even leave the church? They used to drop me home in the minibus after church, now I have to get the regular bus home from work like some sort of sinning peasant.”
“I’m obviously not going to go back to PreyClap, but Christ on a blue pushbike, that’s a strong cup of cordial that book is.”
More to come.
