ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A middle-manager at a French Quarter architecture office has welcomed the recent return to the office after two years of white-anting, gas-lighting and outright victimising her colleagues from home.

Speaking to The Advocate from the shared kitchenette on level six of the Desert Rock FM building, Denise Fraser told our reporter that she’s been making up for lost time.

“It has been a pretty brutal two years away from the office, which is where I do my best work,” she said.

“So I haven’t wasted any time. Today’s the first official day back for us, so I got Trish from accounts to walk with me over to David’s desk so we could talk about him. David’s marriage collapsed during the lockdowns because, you know, like he’s just a bit weird and he’s not actually earning that much. Plus, after his dog died, I think he just became a bit emotionally unavailable. This is something I’ve discussed at length with a lot of people in the office today. He’s also losing his hair,”

“But like, I just love being back in the office. Oh yeah, David’s ex-wife got his car and she gets to stay in the unit while they finalise everything so he’s on the bus. Oh my God. Tragic,”

“But then there’s Gina, who somehow got promoted in the break. I’m not saying anything but Michelle saw her and the Glenn, the big boss, out at a few bars over summer so, yeah, not saying anything but I just think it’s really funny that she got promoted over like, me and Stace,”

“Another good thing about being back in the office is having all the support staff around. Like we have this new receptionist who has a cringe lisp, which is cute when you’re six but not when you’re sixty, lady, so I made sure a few of us were in the reception and I started imitating her [laughs] It was a joke and we were all laughing.”

The Advocate reached out to the firm’s HR department, who acknowledged that there is a problem but largely due to the contract that Denise is on, it’s remarkably hard to fire her.

“If you have any ideas, please let us know.”

More to come.

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