ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Following the dramatic anti-war protests sweeping Melbourne this week, the Victorian Nurses Union is already feeling the pressure ahead of their own scheduled demonstration next Tuesday. As thousands of protesters continue to march through the city with banners, placards, and clever chants, the state’s hardworking nurses have been left wondering how they can match the spectacle.
“Honestly, it’s a tough one,” admitted Union spokesperson Karen Houghton.
“You’ve got helicopters overhead, riot police, and protesters cementing themselves to Subarus. We’re really going to have to lift our game if we want to get similar attention for healthcare funding. These kids have really set the bar high this week.”
While the nurses’ protest will focus on demands for better pay, staffing ratios, and hospital resources, many are concerned it won’t quite have the same headline-grabbing energy as the anti-war movement currently dominating the streets of Melbourne.
“We were planning to have a few speeches and some colourful scrubs, but after seeing the anti-war protest, we’re thinking we might need to step it up. Maybe we’ll bring in a marching band or something. We already had plans to boo the health minister. We might need to throw food dye or pickle juice on them now.” Houghton added.
With many Melburnians glued to the spectacle of the anti-war demonstrations, the nurses fear their cause may be overshadowed by the city’s latest viral moment.
“We’re just asking for the basics—safe working conditions for both patients and us plus fair pay,” said one nurse.
“If that means we need to set a few wheelie bins on fire, then so be it. But as a nurse, I’d like to pile up those lime scooters and set them on fire. Honestly, those things have added to our workload so much.”
More to come.
