DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT

Have you ever been sued by a disgruntled former employee, or a disgruntled former spouse?

I know I have.

Or perhaps you’ve been taken to court by a disgruntled former child you’ve disowned, or a disgruntled former acquaintance or even a random stranger who you’ve made disgruntled just by behaving like a rich narcissistic douchebag like me, Dr Chet Spevens?

I know I have.

It can be emotionally draining going through legal proceedings.

But thankfully it is also unconscionably expensive!

Meaning if you have significant financial resources before the whole process starts, guilty or not you’re guaranteed victory.

It’s quite funny actually, when a disgruntled poor person tries to sue me.

You see, what poor people tend to forget when they’re telling themselves that suing a richer person is all about the ‘principle of the thing’, is that principles are damn expensive.

Here in Betoota, a relatively affordable region of Australia compared to the cosmopolitan urban wonderlands like Lismore and Bundaberg, solicitors typically charge from around $300 an hour and their daily court rate can be upwards of $3,000.

A junior barrister charges around $5,000 simply for getting out of bed to think about your case, while senior barristers command around $10,000 for letting your 30 second phone call go to their voice mail.

Poor people forget that even before they can take you to court, there’s mediation which typically costs thousands.

Then, if you’ve somehow managed to not declare bankruptcy during mediation, you can have the privilege of stepping foot in to a court room for litigation, and bam! $100,000 in costs will accrue before someone like me has even remembered that they were supposed to be in court today.

If you truly want justice then you must be wealthy beforehand.

This is something I tell all of my rich friends who have left hundreds of people disgruntled over the years just by being their horrible selves.

But it doesn’t matter if you’re the most horrible bastard in Betoota, the justice system will save you.

You just have to let it do exactly what it has been evolved to do and protect those with the most money.

Good luck.

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