CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
A local alpha male that doesn’t mind a bit of plastic in his shopping trolley, has today dismissed warnings that he could be doing a disservice to his baby gravy.
Local part-time gym coach, and full time big dog, Kale Livingstone (29) says even if toxic plastic chemicals had found a way inside his coin purse, they’d be no obstacle to his swimmers.
This comes despite a recent claim of microplastics being found in the testicles of humans by scientists in New Mexico.
In New York, experts say the effects of BPA (a toxic chemical found in plastics) include decreased sperm quality, reduced libido and higher rates of erectile dysfunction; while phthalate effects (another lovely plastic chemical) include lower testosterone and sperm count.
It’s just another example of plastic particles and chemicals being found in the most obscure and remote place humans can imagine, from the peak of Mount Everest, to the depths of the Pacific Ocean’s Mariana Trench, to the most well-guarded location on planet earth: the family jewels.
It’s certainly in the stuff that PVC pipes are made of, that Australian men feel the urge to buy for no reason every time they go to the hardware store. While it’s commonly purchased, it’s not commonly known that toxic phthalates seep out of them.
However, Kale does not yet feel the need to limit his impulsive purchases of plastics, because as far as he’s concerned, his powerful alpha male sperm would be able run through a brick wall, let alone a few pesky phthalates.
“Maybe those slower swimmers, yeah, they should be worried. Yeah” he says.
“If I was one of those blokes I’d be going as plastic-free as I could. Gotta give your seed every chance you can”
“But my little fellas aren’t gonna let microplastics get in their way. They’ve probably got a neat little sidestep on them too,” said the main pulling some sushi out of a plastic container he bought from the supermarket…
More to come.
