KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Researchers from the Royal Betoota College of Human Sciences have announced an exciting new finding today, after discovering what it believed to be the last licensed venue playing Chive TV.
A pre-historic channel that plays “the most jaw-dropping viral videos from the internet”, the service was once popular for its ability to remix videos of extreme sports, accidents, and footage of fathers being hit in the scrotum by their child’s frisbee.
After years in decline, archaeologists from the Australian Archaeological Association Inc. (AAA) said they were baffled to discover one last TV playing the service, after spending many years believing that the use of the Chive TV in public spaces had become extinct post-2007.
In an interview with Professor Jameson Beam (BA (Hons) MA, PhD), the excited academic told The Advocate the discovery of this fossil to pre-smartphone era entertainment was purely by chance, after accidentally finding himself in the back rooms of West Betoota’s Interchange Hotel.
“I’d never usually be at the Interchange, It’s quite a ghastly venue, but I had to attend my nephew’s 10th birthday and it’s the only family friendly pub with a ball pit and Playstation facilities for the kids.”
“Yet as I got lost looking for the men’s restroom, sure enough there it was, a screen playing Chive TV hidden up on the back wall.”
An academic who specialises in the study of human behaviour in licensed gambling venues, Prof. Jameson told The Advocate the discovery was a breakthrough for his studies.
“When you’ve got 16 TV’s bolted to the wall to play 24/7 sports, why on earth some Homo sapiens still become entranced by a highlights reel made up of skateboard stacks, lawnmower racing or a Pug that keeps sneezing, it’s baffling human behaviour.”
“It’s inspiration for a new thesis that’s for sure!”
More to come.
