WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A homecoming North Queenslander has today been given quite a shock.
Fresh off the back of an around the world trip from the UK to Townsville, Julian Assange has been confronted by the very sobering reality of Australia’s cost of living crisis.
Popping into the Mad Cow yesterday evening, after being forced to spent nearly 24 hours in Canberra, the founder of Wikileaks and the exposer of American war crimes was reportedly looking to enjoy a few cold schooners and some State of Origin.
However, Assange was forced to call the police after being robbed in the fading light of the Deep North.
“7 dollars, for a happy hour schooner,” huffed Assange, itching to watch some Queensland redemption in the Origin Decider last night.
“Not a pint, a schoooooner!”
“That’s fucked.”
“I’d heard that inflation had driven the price of things through the roof.”
“But goodness me, that can’t be.”
“I assumed they were trying to commit fraud so I had to call the cops.”
After being informed that that is what’s considered a special these days, I frustrated Assange was forced to go back into the bar.
Thankfully he was then shouted some cold glass sandwiches by locals appreciative of the sacrifices made by Assange.
More to come.
