WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Australian Taxation Office has revealed today that they simply cannot wait to see some of the statements that come their way this year.
With the end of the financial year just around the corner, the ATO said they are keeping an eye on one group in particular – the multinational gas companies that make huge profits from Australia’s resources are and currently holding the nation to ransom.
The organisation that is supposed to be able to make sure companies and individuals pay a fair amount of tax, said they are on the edge of their seats to see how the likes of Santos, Origin, and Shell are going to be run at a loss this year.
“As tax nerds, we are really excited to see all of the different loopholes they lean on, and how far they are willing to go in terms of just blatantly lying about their affairs,” explained one seniour member of the ATO team today.
“Obviously they’ve been jacking the price of gas up as much as 40-fold at certain times, but we are fully aware that most of these companies will somehow be running at a loss again.”
“It’s really impressive how they manage to stay afloat given they are always running in the red, and consequently don’t have to pay any tax.”
“Really makes you wonder why those board members and executives want to run those companies.”
These comments come despite many assuming that the gas companies would be making a decent bit of coin as a result of the outrageously high price of gas.
However, a spokesperson for the ATO explained that the monopoly these companies have on exporting our national resources and price gouging the local market isn’t really that profitable.
“There are just so many overheads,” explained the ATO spokesperson.
“They have to pay all these Intellectual Property fees to companies in the Cayman Islands.”
“Then there’s licensing arrangements, and their assets becoming worth nothing.”
“And they get caught up in these really complicated loan agreements between 4 different offshore holding companies and somehow the money gets chewed up.”
“We’d love to help them out and just try and figure out where it all goes, but unfortunately the government never seems to be too interested in supplying us with an adequate budget.”
“So we just have to take these giant companies’ assurances that they don’t have to pay any tax.”
“It is strange to see how companies who you think would be making a lot of money pay no tax, but that’s the way the system has been set up for some weird reason.”
More to come.
