WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A man of the slab has today shocked scientists by providing them with a rather historic body composition scan.
In a world first, the concreter’s scan results showed that the fully grown adult man is actually 87% energy drink.
While humans are normally around 60% water, the man named Aaron Hughes is being hailed as ‘a unique, one of a kind local specimen.’
The seen to be believed results have been attributed to his religious consumption of BSc Energy Drink.
“Yeah that’s wild,” laughed Hughes after being presented with the news by the bewildered scientists.
“I mean, I knew I consumed my fair share of the new Orange Fizz energy drink, but there ya go.”
Hughes explained that the strong numbers come after he went on a New Year’s resolution health kick, and switched the teenage skate park energy drinks for the grown up scientifically tested and approved ones at BSc.
“Yeah the staff at my local 7-Eleven servo could probably help explain the readings,” he laughed.
“Apparently the other 13% is meat pies…”
“Which if you go grab yourself a dictionary and look up breakfast of champions, is what you’ll find there.”
“Besides, I wanna win this god damn giveaway,” he said, referencing the 1k a day comp being run by the Aussie supplement company.
“I’ve posted my can on IG stories every day so far, surelyyyyyy I’m a chance.”
More to come.
