KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
An innovative boyfriend is in the dog house this morning, after using his girlfriend’s energy cleansing sticks to stabilise some unsteady furniture.
After two months of promising to fix the broken leg of an Kmart TV unit, it appears local boyfriend Kyle Tate, took some long overdue initiative to solve the issue by shoving a few ‘Holy Woods” under the flimsy TV cabinet frame.
The Advocate understands after briefly considering hiring a handyman, Mr Tate discovered six pieces of sustainably harvested, Peruvian spirit wood sitting on his girlfriend’s dresser, unaware of their ability to cleanse energy fields and restore tranquility to ‘negative spaces’.
After spending a few minutes chocking up the frame with purifying driftwood, Mr Tate was subject to an almighty spray from his long suffering girlfriend, furious that he used her rather expensive sticks for an unintended purpose.
“I don’t get why I’m in trouble, she’s been hammering me to fix that thing since Christmas!”, said a rather stupid Kyle.
“I’m no Scotty Cam, I just found some spare wood laying on her wardrobe so I shoved it under the leg and now we’ve got a TV that doesn’t slide off the table.”
“It’s a smart solve if I’m honest.”
Speaking to Kyle’s angry girlfriend, Emily, The Advocate was given evidence of a long list of previous indiscretions that read poorly for Mr Tate’s boyfriend resume.
“This is why I can’t have anything nice in this house,” said a rather perturbed Emily.
“I spent $60 on some Aesop hand cream the other day and he thought it was okay to use it on his Athletes Foot.”
“I swear I’m going to have to put all my nice cosmetics in a safe soon or he’ll end up using my Aveda haircare to wash the dog…”
More to come.
