MITCH M. CARTER | Culture | CONTACT
Local underachiever Chris Crossley (20) has decided it’s time to get completely wankered at a party where he knows almost nobody.
The second-year student at Betoota Institute of Technology was a last minute invite to Jack’s 21st birthday party — a bloke he had never met before tonight.
“Yeah I just said bring whoever,” Jack said, arms full of two slabs of the cheapest beer money can buy.
“Should be a big one haha.”
Chris’ mate Toby took that literally, inviting Chris on a whim once he realised he had no plans.
“I feel kinda bad for him to be honest,” Toby told our reporters.
“So I thought I’d throw him some bait.”
Those plans were turned upside down, however, when Toby disappeared with a potential suitor for 25 minutes.
The development then left Chris with little choice.
“I mean it’s free drinks so,” he laughed as he cracked another can of social lubricant.
“Haven’t had a big one in a while.”
“Could get fuck-eyed actually.”
Chris was last seen bumping into strangers on the dance floor while singing ABBA at the top of his lungs.
More to come.
