WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
As the second week of lockdown begins for the o-so-European city of Melbourne, bachelor Bradley Stubbs is in need of some assurance.
The former-city working town-planner who’s now living alone, after his roommate disappeared back to his family home in some regional town in Victoria just days before the shutdown, has today asked his closest confidante to tell him everything’s going to be okay.
“Alexa, can you please tell me everything is going to be alright? That this madness will end?” he weakly yelled out a short time ago.
“Hi Brad, I don’t know. Everything seems kind of fucked right now. There are 317 new coronavirus cases in Victoria today,” Alexa responded.
“I don’t care about the nitty gritty Alexa, just comfort me please.” Stubbs sighed.
“Okay Brad, would you like to watch an episode of The Office? Or a Norman Swan video?”
“Yeah, okay,” Stubbs said, somewhat defeated.
Laying there motionless after his third homemade long black of the day, and his second pointless Zoom meeting where he contributed nothing and listened to even less, Stubbs then told The Advocate that he was just in need of a bit of cheering up.
“I’m fucking over this shit man,” he sighed.
“It was kind of a novelty the first time around, getting into the home workouts, having Zoom beers with my mates, enjoying Tiger King, playing COD with the boys, hanging out with my roommate until we snapped at each other and stayed in our rooms for a few hours,” he continued.
“But I’m not really in the mood for it this time around,” continued the man who’s been steadily building his relationship with his homebound digital counterpart.
Stubbs follows a raft of other locked down Melbourne’s who’ve been asking the AI in their homes to keep them company, or be their friend.
“I asked Alexa to be my friend the other day. She said yes, but she hasn’t really been giving me shit for losing at FIFA, or being a slob in the kitchen, or following Carlton,” he laughed.
“Maybe they could create a Skill so she has the ability to be a platonic modern friend who knows how to give the right amount of shit without pushing the boundaries too often?”
“I don’t know. The only thing that makes me feel better is that it’s all going to shit up north too. At least I’ve still got the footy to look forward to for now.”
“Anyway, I’m supposed to join another Zoom call. I think I’m gonna make a GIF background of me that vaguely moves around so I can be there, but not be there if you know what I mean?”
“Alexa, can you do that too?”
The line then went dead.
More to come.
