LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Today was nearly the day for YouTube watcher Chris Lapido (33) as the image of Craig Kelly’s rude head popping up before a video almost convinced him to pay for a premium YouTube account.
In the two months since Craig Kelly became leader of the United Australia Party, the party has reportedly spent close to $1.2 million on YouTube adverts to let voters know they are now being led by a different unhinged anthropomorphic blob.
Lapido states he has seen Craig Kelly’s face at least one hundred more times than he wanted to over the past two months, yet the only thing that might have gained his vote is the paid version of YouTube that has no ads.
“Every time, every bloody time I watch a bloody video that talking chicken and cheese is there,” stated Lapido.
“I see him when I close my eyes.”
“He’s always banging on about how you can’t trust Liberal, Labor or The Greens. Yeah no shit, but at least those cunts wait until there is an election before burrowing themselves into your corneas.”
Lapido claims he is so desperate to avoid any future footage of Craig Kelly’s rude head that he is even willing to start paying to use YouTube in order to enjoy an ad free version of the website he uses about four hours out of every day.
“I think it might be worth it. Spending my money to cancel out their ad spend might be a little petty but it will be worth it as soon as I can get his jowelly, puppety face out of my head.”
