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Following an immediate DNA test conducted by the recently repaired ABC Fact Checker, answers regarding Bob Katter’s alleged Venetian-Semetic-Aboriginal-Lebanese-Irish-Catholic ancestry remain still as muddy as they were during his 10 minute press conference in Cairns on Wednesday.
During his lengthy, at times irrelevant and borderline incoherent rant regarding his newly inaugurated Senator Fraser Anning’s comments about putting forward a plebiscite on which types of people get to migrate to Australia, Bob Katter denied all affiliation with Lebanon, the country his grandaddy migrated from before moving to Western Queensland.
As was reported two days ago, several other comments made by Katter, including his claims that Cairns was founded by Jewish people, and that Fraser Anning was not racist, reportedly resulted in an workplace fire at the ABC office in Ultimo – after their official Fact Checker exploded under severe pressure.
The subsequent DNA test has provided very little clarity about Katter’s DNA, other than backing up his own claims that he is dark and from Cloncurry.
However, one notable finding suggested that Katter was a distant cousin of that old codger that blew up about his neighbour’s dog on A Current Affair a few years back.
Dubbed ‘The Barking Man’ – it is believed that both he and Bob Katter are cousins through their pioneer ancestors in the Queensland Gulf Country.
Analysts say this explains Bob Katter’s explosive press conferences, and inability to finish an interview with making gruff barking sounds and scaring the fuck out of everyone.
“I welcome him to my family” said Bob Katter, during a two hour phone call with our intern earlier today, most of which was spent talking about crocodile attacks and draconian firearm laws.
“He sounds like a great Australian, I might nominate him for pre-selection in Clive’s old seat”
