LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The media team of opposition leader Peter Dutton have put their heads together and had a big think about what they can do to make make the loveable property developer more electable.
Although Dutton has already won over some voters by playing identity politics, some of the more moderate Australians still needs some convincing.
“Traditional photo ops aren’t going to work,” stated media strategist Mia Temple, who has had ‘zhuzh up Dutto’ on the top of her to do list for six consecutive months.
“He can’t attend a citizenship ceremony because he’d have to go to one, he can’t hold a baby because of that hungry look in his eyes.
Temple has confirmed she might soon be looking for a new job, with Dutton taking some initiative to improve his image by requesting that he be added to the Epstein flight logs.
For those who aren’t aware because they don’t want to turn a manageable mental illness into a paranoid mania, the Epstein flight logs is a list of high profile people who flew on the private jet of a billionaire human trafficker but swear they didn’t do any of the pedo stuff.
Donald Trump, Prince Andrew and Bill Clinton are a few of the most notable people named on the log but if Dutton’s bid is successful his name will soon be up there amongst the glitz and the glam, potentially improving his public image slightly.
“Look, it’s not a bad plan. Everyone on that list seems to have a weird fringe group of defenders. I know that Mr Dutton really isn’t picky about who votes for him,” said Mia.
“I think I’m gonna have to quit though. I can’t do this.”
