WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
One of Betoota’s very own universities has today released a ground breaking study.
South Betoota Polytechnic’s Anthropological Faculty has made public a landmark study which found that economics is simply just horoscopes for rich nerds.
The 242 page paper confirmed that the ‘science of economics is actually about as scientific as astrology.’
The lead researcher on the report, Chad Stan told The Advocate that most economists are actually just astrologers in suits.
“They share a lot of similar traits to the purple haired lady at the market who can see into your future,” explained Stan.
“They are very good at reading people and the situation, and then poking around answers until something lands with their audience.”
“And of course people will remember the things they want to remember, and forgot the hare brained shit that doesn’t make any sense.”
Stan explained that the research took well over a decade to compile, and was based upon countless hours of study and analysis.
“Mate, the long story short is the majority of these rich nerds have absolutely fuck all idea about what is actually going to happen,” he laughed.
“They just pick different theories to follow and then just say it with conviction and hope it works out.”
“Apart from Alan Kohler and Ian Verrender.”
“Those two are G’s.”
“The rest of them just come from well off families and go to well off unis who are funded by the government and well off companies, and push the same old lines about economic principles to make sure people like them continue to do well.”
Stan then provided the example of the ‘Optimum Unemployment rate.’
“You think it makes sense that we have to have a certain number of people out of work, for the economy to function properly?”
“Shit like that is just nerds making up numbers and rules that effect everyday people.”
“And they get away with it by making the system so complicated that it’s “too hard” for ordinary people to understand.”
“So next time some economist says something about interest rates being the key to curbing inflation (despite the housing system being broke, multinational companies artificially inflating the prices of things like energy and food and wages of CEOs going through the roof), just remember they are astrologists in suits.”
