WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
A local geriatric has found himself getting wound up again today, it can be confirmed.
Speaking to our reporter a short time ago, Aisling Moloney says her dad has been lighting up the family group chat.
“At least he’s not on about furries and kitty litter this time,” said Aisling, whose father’s brain is increasingly turning into an apple that’s been left in the fruit bowl for 3 weeks.
“Between the commercial news channels and Facebook, his brain is rotting,” she sighed.
The sad admission follows her dad Peter forwarding 2 seperate videos about how this younger generation has been raised on participation awards and handouts.
“Yeah, he’s been spending too much time on his Aussie Man Cave Facebook group.”
“They love that kind of shit.”
“I mean, it is kind of rich that he’s so obsessed with millennials being entitled, given his generation was pretty much given houses, a free education, and permanent well paying jobs.”
“I kinda would trade my participation awards for a nice 3 bedroom place in Betoota Heights.”
“That seems like a way better handout than some dumb ribbon.”
“But you can’t mention that to him because he just goes on about interest rates being 18%, on a house worth as much my current credit card debt.”
“And ironically, he only has this much time to spend scrolling social media because he got given all this shit so he can just park his trotters on the couch and do whatever he feels like.”
Aisling’s boss then walked into the cafe and mentioned something about her being 2 minutes over her allotted 30 minute lunch break, forcing her to end the conversation.
No more to come.
