CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
A harmless local jar-opener has today made it clear that he doesn’t think buying a portable water container that can be reused an infinite amount of times without mainlining microplastics into the gut and toxic plastic chemicals directly into the bloodstream via the small intestine, is worth the money.
Local girlie, Scarlet Benson (25), has been a big advocate for the new wave of water cups. Her lovely boyfriend, Dimitri, has so far resisted her encouragement to get one for himself.
It’s not that Dimmy doesn’t stay hydrated. He does. When he’s at work he’ll get through at least two or three office tea cups full of water a day. Easily.
It’s not like he doesn’t occasionally go for big long drives and feels an underlying urge to drink as much water as humanly possible because he’s just pumped an entire bag of salt and vinegar chips and feels like his mouth has been irreparably cut up.
It’s just that he thinks those cups are a bit dear.
Scarlet obviously doesn’t. She thinks they are the perfect accessory. And has one on her desk at work, and one at home.
She’s personally a Stanley Cup girl, but she reckons those Frank Green ones are mega cute.
There’s also the endurance athlete brands like Patagonia and North Face, but those ones aren’t able to hold the 1.3 litres of water that she needs on her person at all times – every minute of the day.
She’s vaguely aware of the health risks that come from needlessly exposing her body to microplastics and bisphenol A, an industrial chemical more commonly known as BPA that has been used to make certain plastics since the 1950s and has been long dismissed as harmless despite the fact that scientists keep screaming that it isn’t (along with their ‘BPA free’ cousins BPS and BPF). But that’s not her main reason.
She just likes staying hydrated, and wants that for her boyfriend too.
“I dunno” says Dimmy, during yet another gentle encouragement
“Thought about it”
“But jeez those Stanley Cups aren’t cheap”
The way Dimmy see’s it, he’s better off just reusing the crusty microplastic-shedding Mount Franklin bottle he bought from a servo in 2019 and has refilled close to 2000 times since.
“50 bucks! Bugger that” he says.
