CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The German-Australian community has issued a severe warning for a large stretch of the east coast from Bundaberg in Queensland to Ballina in New South Wales, after news that spirited European retiree is making her way to the Queensland South-East Corner.
Known only by her fitting nickname, ‘Cyclone Oma’ is currently just under 900 kilometres north-east of Brisbane and is moving towards the coast.
However, the category-two party girl is no longer expected to make it to the Queensland capital, and will instead fuck up the Gold Coast for the weekend.
“Although Oma is not expected to make it to Brissy in the coming days, she will be close enough to produce direct impacts along the Queensland and New South Wales coast” said a spokesperson for GADAMMIT (German And Dutch-Australians Monitoring Media Information Together).
“Thankfully she won’t make it to the German Club next to the Gabba, but we think just having her poolside on the Gold Coast is enough of a worry”
It is believed that staff at the Jupiters have been given explicit instructions to keep Cyclone Oma occupied as long as possible and try their best to pace her between cocktails.
Emergency personnel say they have also been briefed on the likelihood of being catcalled by the spunky bachelorette.
