LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
After realising it’s not in his best interest to be either angry or sad all the time, local construction unionist Craig Margaretti (44) decided to book an appointment with his local counselor.
Having never been to therapy before, Margaretti told our reporting team he was not sure what to expect, but was rather hoping it would be like the therapy sessions depicted in the hit mafia show The Sopranos.
During the show’s seven season run, anti-hero Tony Soprano attends two 50 minute psychoanalytic psychotherapy sessions a week, paying Dr Jennifer Melfi, M.D. out of his own pocket in between bouts of shouting and eye-fucking.
Now Margaretti is beginning to think expecting life to be like a mafia show is unrealistic as his first, and possibly last, therapy session focussed much more on his job and relationships than a deep dive into the psyche of a morally grey man.
“It was just in a room in the clinic, not even a single cushion to grab onto,” stated Margaretti, devastated that he had just wasted an hour trying to improve his mental wellbeing.
“She didn’t even have a little crush on me.”
Although Margaretti has been praised by his friends and family for finally doing something about his head noise, Margaretti claims it was all for naught as the session focused much more on how to identify his anger triggers instead of indulging his mob fantasy.
“When I yelled at her she just suggested we end the session and asked what time worked for me again in six weeks time.”
At the time of writing, Margaretti was last spotted buying four kilograms worth of cured meats and eating them by his swimming pool with his disappointment of a son.
