LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

An inexperienced camper was found to be in violation of camp code over the weekend by using a campfire as an opportunity to chat rather than staring into it silently.

Being at the point in his life where he has to either take his binge drinking fulltime or become an outdoor health freak, Hamish Bisby chose the latter and after dropping a cool $2k on gear he’s ready to badger his camping mates into taking him outdoors.

After helping Bisby set up his tent, folding chair, camp shower, folding table, pavilion and camp bookshelf, Bisby’s mates got to setting up a fire in the hope it would finally get some peace and quiet going in this place.

Little did they know that Bisby took a very modern approach to sitting around the campfire and began several thought provoking discussions about mental health, relationships and whether religious conflict is some sort of ingrained human need.

“What is this, bloody RUOK Day?” asked one of Bisby’s mates who was already preparing excuses as to why he won’t be able to camp with him again.

“Can’t you just let us internalise this shit for a bit? I’m not even on my second bevvy mate.”

“And stop trying to braid my hair!”

Sensing that his mates would rather stare soundlessly into the fire and watch as the flames shaped the echoing history of mankind’s endurance, Bisby gave silent staring a go before jumping back on his shit again.

“Aaaah yeah, the old bush TV. It’s OK. I get it…” stated Bisby, wondering if he could convince them to at least do smores, scary stories or some other American shit later.

“Should’ve brought my guitar aye?”

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