EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

As rumours continue to swirl about an impending Oasis reunion, The Advocate can confirm it is going ahead, but on one condition – the brothers are to be separated by a bulletproof glass for the duration of their performance.

Speaking to an inside source, it can now be revealed that insurance providers have reportedly mandated that the legendary Britpop band perform behind a reinforced glass barrier resembling that used during Donald Trump’s rallies, to curb the notorious Gallagher brothers’ tendency to engage in on-stage scuffles that could lead to costly insurance claims.

The decision follows a history of high-profile feuds between frontman Liam Gallagher and his brother, lead guitarist Noel Gallagher, which have marred several performances over the years. From hurling insults and instruments to outright brawls mid-gig, the brothers’ infamous clashes have kept insurers on edge and venues wary. 

The latest measure aims to shield not only the brothers from each other but also audiences from flying microphones, guitars, or whatever else might get caught up in the crossfire.

One insider from the band’s insurance firm noted, “The Gallagher brothers have a reputation for combusting on stage, and it’s our job to mitigate risks. The glass barrier is the best solution to allow Oasis to perform without tearing each other apart—and without skyrocketing our premiums.”

The insurance policy reportedly took months of negotiation, with clauses covering everything from potential property damage to emotional outbursts.

Sources close to the band suggest that this may be the only practical way to get the pair on stage together without tearing the band apart—again.

More to come.

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