WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The nation’s two major political parties have today signalled a major change to our democratic system.
The Betoota Advocate has exclusively learnt this morning that the Labor and Liberal Parties have made a handshake agreement to shake up the number of electoral divisions around the country.
While branded as a boring and bureaucratic change to the voting system, the huge move will actually see a number of key divisions completely folded, with voting boundaries moved in a carefully structured way.
Under the move the divisions of Melbourne, Ryan, Brisbane, Griffith, North Sydney, Wentworth, Indi, Kennedy, Warringah, Kooyong, Mayo And Mackellar will all be scrapped, with voters carefully manoeuvred around into safer Labor and Liberal seats.
The sensational move comes as a last ditch effort by the two parties to ensure that the two party system breathes another few gasps of air.
This comes after Australian Electoral Commission (AEC) announced that the Teal held electorate of North Sydney would no longer exist.
The 100,000 voters will be absorbed into the marginal Labor seat of Bennelong, the Liberal seat of Bradfield and independent-held Warringah at next federal election.
However the Teal held seat of Warringah is also set to be scrapped, with voters divvied up between the two red and blue aforementioned divisions.
Speaking to The Advocate an anonymous insider from the Labor party explained that ‘they’d had enough of this shit.’
“Fuck these independents and minor parties,” explained the insider.
“They have gotten too big for their boots.”
“So, we are getting rid of them.”
“And the first one on the chopping block, that little fuck from Griffith.”
“He’s been causing headaches for us for too long.”
“Times up buddy, we need someone who can just toe the major party line and enjoy the long lunches and free hotels on offer.”
More to come.
