WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
It’s been a big weekend for a young man from Melbourne.
Brighton’s Oscar Piastri has finally managed to win a game of Formula 1, after being given the decent controller last night.
The historic moment for the second most famous person to come out of Brighton (after the park walk lady), follows a long couple of years of having to deal with the shit controller.
“See, look what I can do when I’m actually given a controller that works,” laughed Piastri after his historic win at the Hungarian Gran prix over night.
“I don’t know how anyone expects me to win a game when the right joystick is constantly dragging me right every time.”
“Sure, I can over compensate and try and correct it, but it always glitches at some point during the game.”
Piastri says the decision to give him a decent chance came after his older brother forgot to get the chicken out of the freezer like mum asked.
“Haha,” laughed Piastri.
“Suck shit Lando,” teased Piastri, who was then given a nipple cripple by his furious older brother.
Older brother Lando Norris refused to comment on being told to hand the win to Piastri, simply telling us to ‘fuck off’ before slamming his bedroom door.
More to come.
