WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local man is today sporadically scrolling through a children’s novel length of bets, in between sips of American beer.
The degenerate husband and father of two has confirmed with The Advocate that he’s got quite the spread of investment opportunities today.
“Yeah, big day to make money,” laughed Chandler Wilson (29).
The man who plans to take an early lunch and then just not come back to work, said he’s been researching a veritable smorgasbord of markets for days now.
“Kendrick’s over under for number of songs is 9.5…”
“Tell me you are crunching the overs on that?”
“And the anthem dude, this guy did it at the NBA all star game a few years back and he Eminemed it in 90 seconds. The 120 seconds is free money.”
As well as a couple of dabbles on things like Orange Gatorade getting a run when the NFL hands Patrick Mahomes and Taylor’s boyfriend a historic ThreePeat, Wilson is also on plenty for the big game.
“Saquon gonna run all over Kansas,” he continued.
“Sure, the Chiefs Run D has been on lock all year, but Saquon is different gravy man.”
“Just look at those quads.”
“And with Hurts playing with a busted knee, you just know they gonna feed Saquon.”
“If only they had markets for over under on the amount of flops for Mahomes hahahahahaha,” he laughed aggressively.
“Let’s goooooooooooo!”
