FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
The Spenn family were the recipients of exciting news this week after opening a letter from the local council informing them that they had been upgraded to ‘aspirational’ status.
The move comes as a welcome surprise to the family, who have had previous applications rejected due to a car which had flaking clearcoat, a damaged letterbox, and a lack of online holiday photos.
Although unconfirmed, it is believed the recent success of the application is linked to the recent installation of a pair of classy lacquered brass motion-activated coach lamps on either side of the entry.
“This is a very exciting time for us” said aspirational patriarch Patrick Spenn.
“It’s great to finally be recognised as aspirational after installing the motion-activated coach lamps. But a big shout-out to the kids who also did their bit. Adam has been posting social media pics of himself next to expensive cars that he sees parked at the shops while wearing some authentic-looking Gucci stuff he bought at the markets.
Brianna has been publicly disappointed about COVID-19 forcing us to cancel our family holiday to Dubai or Monte Carlo or something and she even downloaded a ‘private jet’ background for her Instagram photos.
Also (wife) Jennifer has been complaining to everybody that ‘the cleaning lady’ has been doing a lousy job, even though we don’t have one, which would have helped for sure.
I think it was a real team effort and the motion-activated coach lamps just pushed us over the line”.
As part of the Aspirational accreditation, each member of the family will be provided with a special icon next to their social media identities and a card which allows them to laugh at cars over 6 years old, provides free entry to venues with a cover charge, and allows them to wear sunglasses indoors, even at night.
“Good on them, I reckon” said neighbour Carlos Pock.
“I’ve been hoping to be aspirational one day too but no luck so far. I was even going to install some motion-activated coach lamps the same as theirs.”
“Technically, the motion-activated coach lamps I was going to install were theirs, but when I sneaked out one night with a Phillips head screwdriver the motion-activated coach lamps were activated by my motion and I had to run back home before anyone saw me. Actually, I was going to get some special Gucci motion-activated coach lamps from Dubai but because of COVID-19 I had to cancel that trip. And my order for an Audi R8.
“Bugger”.
