WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local woman is today desperately trying to figure out how she is going to make ends meet, after a serious bungle last night.
Silvia Waters (28) from our town’s modest Betoota Ponds precinct explained to The Advocate that she’s facing financial ruin after a catastrophic event in the city.
Waters said the she’s been questioning her economic security and her rational thinking after deciding to take her boyfriend to a Sushi Train style restaurant.
“I fucked up,” she sighed.
“I thought it would be a cute date night to go out and eat some nice sushi and have a couple of drinks.”
“I took him to the restaurant and told him not to look at the menu and just go for whatever he wants.”
“Then I sat there and watched him eat through our house deposit.”
“Plate after a plate.”
“Gold leafed black plate of seared salmon.”
“Special gold plate of scallop sashimi.”
“The whole batch of four purple plates of Tiger Roll that the chef had just put on the train.”
“It felt like a slow motion car crash.”
“I mean, I know he’s a guts. The way he sits there like a family dog staring at my meal waiting to slobber up whatever is left on the plate.”
“But even I didn’t expect him to cause so much carnage.”
“I just feel stupid.”
The big unit was unavailable to comment on the fiscal obliteration, with Silvia explaining that he was in physical pain from the effects of unhindered food consumption.
More to come.
