TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
Tristan Holloway went into social distancing thinking he would finally become the productive man his girlfriend was desperate for him to become. However, 6 weeks in it appears he is still incapable of hanging out a load of washing after the first cycle.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me” sighed a confused Tristan.
“I have literally nowhere else to go so it’s not like I don’t have the time”
Tristan’s last load of washing is on its fourth cycle, having been put in the wash on Monday and not really attended to since.
Tristan explained that usually he has excuses covering for why he doesn’t hang out his washing, but isolation has made it clear that he’s just a lazy slob.
“Not gonna lie, it’s a wake up call”
“I’ve been wearing the same clothes all week because my others are in the wash, that I just won’t hang out. My self-respect seems to be deteriorating”
It’s not yet known whether Tristan has hung out his latest load of washing, we will keep an eye on this developing story.
More to come.
