WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local man is today preparing to turn his life around after getting served up ads of KP and Bazlenka repping a new deodorant.
Following one of the longer dry spells in his sharehouse, (so long that his mates no longer even joke about it) Brayden Williams says it’s time to get serious about getting back on the open market.
“Yeah, I’m sorting out the Stuff That Matters,” laughed the young red blooded rooster.
“No literally,” he winked, spraying on the flash new deodorant that he picked up at Woolies.
“It’s been a long couple of months out in the desert. Time to find my way out of the Valley of no roots,” chuckled the man who has been won over by the shirtless smiley ads of certified hot boys Kalyn Ponga and Bailey Smith.
Williams said he’s been struggling a bit in the sheets department, after a catastrophic break up a year ago.
“Yeah I went on the rebound quite hard,” he explained.
“Then after a regrettable fling with my mate’s ex-Missus – I threw myself into work and sessions at the pub with the boys, and picked up a few bad habits.”
“Admittedly, there was a lot of punting on the dogs, and the brickies laptop. And an ungodly amount of testing the meat missile. Not my finest hour.”
Now, after a fair bit of time licking his wounds on a number of fronts, ‘Big Willy’ as he’s known by his mates, has made the decision to re-emerge as a new and improved version of himself. He’s re-downloaded the apps and updated his profile to include more low-key park hangs and ice bath content, and just this week began researching Whoop band pricing.
Plus, he’s spruced up his look and committed to some personal grooming and hygiene.
“Yeah, I’m jumping on the KP and Bazlenka bandwagon,” he laughed.
“If the Stuff is good enough for those boys, it’s good enough for me.”
“Let’s trot,” he finished.
“The chest hair’s staying though.”
More to come.
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