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A Northern Rivers medicineman has claimed this morning that the growing outbreak of diphtheria in the region is expected and usually occurs naturally.

The two new cases of the serious bacterial infection are the first to be recorded in Australia this century, which has got some traditional health professionals on edge.

Diphtheria is seldom seen in developed countries with a stringent inoculation but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t occur organically in nature, says Northern Rivers Shaman Murray Bedbumper.

The 45-year-old former advertising executive told The Advocate that cases of diphtheria have been recorded “since the dawn of time” and this is just the first case “in a while” that has been picked up on by the science-based medical community.

“It’s not out of this world that a case of this mild throat infection has popped up in Australia,” he said.

“The accuse illness is treated with antibiotics such as penicillin, which also occurs naturally in the environment. I think. I know anthrax does because it kills sheep in Scotland,”

“But for outsiders, for people who’ve been honey-dicked by trans-global pharmaceutical companies into having their poisonous product thrust into them by a ‘good doctor who was just following orders’, it might seem bizarre and even dangerous that a mild illness like diphtheria has been recorded. It’s perfectly natural and normal for this to happen.”

A man from fabled Northern Rivers community, The Channon, spoke to our reporter a short time ago via wireless telephone where he outlined the sense of dread each time something like this pops up in the national media.

He says he closes his eyes and waits for the breakfast television presenter to say it’s from his neck of the woods.

“I just know when this shit happens, I know it’s going to be fucking ‘Northern NSW’ again,” he said.

“So embarrassing. My mates from the Goldie rinse the hell out of me each time. I turned up to a Bucks last weekend in Broadbeach with a runny nose and one of the boys came back from the shops with a dead seagull and a pot of horseradish, telling me that should clear up the cold before the party started,”

“Man, I just hate it.”

The Advocate reached out to NSW Health for comment but has yet to receive a reply.

More to come.

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