KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A new member of the non-alcoholic community has let a liquor store take his credit card for a ride, deciding to part with $60 for a bottle of non-alcoholic gin.
At approximately 3:42pm this afternoon, local geography teacher Sam Lyre lit sixty of his hard earned dollars on fire as he walked out of the Betoota Grove Family Cellars with a bottle of ‘Compost & Co’ Dry London Gin.
A new proponent of teetotalism, The Advocate understands Mr Lyre’s considered the purchase to be an investment into his new found hobby of avoiding alcohol at social occasions.
“After boozing myself into the ground every night during lock down, I thought it might be nice to skip silly season and instead spend a month hiking and stuff,” said Mr Lyre.
“And after 5 weeks off the grog I feel pretty bloody awesome to be honest, I might not drink til March if I can.”
Capitalising on the rising trend of non-drinkers and Australians practicing ‘mindful drinking’, The Advocate understands non-alcoholic spirit makers have been leaping to the bank with glee, after being gifted the licence to charge $50 for a bottle of ritzy cordial that skips alcoholic volume tax.
Speaking to local bottle shop owner, Steve Carlton, said the boom of new non-alcoholic products was paying big dividends for the family owned chain of liquor stores.
“As soon as we heard about this new trend of people not drinking so much we got a little nervous, but these non-alc customers honestly couldn’t be better for business,’ said Mr Carlton.
“They’ll happily part with a pineapple to buy some fancy bottle of adult cordial, don’t they know they could duck into the IGA next door and pick up some Cottees for $3!”
Mr Carlton admitted to The Advocate that he’s also been cashing in big on the new non-alcoholic beer customers.
“The non-alc beer buyers are the best, they’ll pay $20 for a six-pack of Heineken Zero, and it tastes just like the real Heineken… Pure shit!”
More to come.
