LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Is there other life in the universe? How do bicycles work? Why do TV journalists put on a slightly strained voice when they talk? Why do we all treat this voice like it’s normal when if someone at the RSL spoke to us like that we’d probably not bother renewing our membership?
Put simply, there are a lot of questions out there that are seemingly unanswerable. Betoota mum Cathy Girth reckons she’s come up with just one more; why can’t they just pick six nice boys on MAFS?
“Out of 13 million Australian men, surely it wouldn’t be that hard to find six nice ones would it?” asked Girth, perfectly demonstrating how long it has been since she went on a date.
“I’ve got two living at home with me and another one that I bloody wish would get a wriggle on with the marriage thing, hint hint.”
“I swear, sometimes I think they pick these bad men on purpose.”
Girth’s daughter Charlie then explained to her mum that’s exactly what the producers of the show are doing.
“Mum, you watch the 120 hours of this crap they make every year. If they put decent normal people in it, you would use that time to develop a new skill or better yet, watch a different TV show with toxic men and juicy drama.”
“And of course there is life on other planets. There is an infinite amount of Married at First Sight spin offs taking place amongst all matter of living alien organisms using mediums, plateaus and senses we cannot even comprehend. And I guarantee every one of these interdimensional MAFS is full of horrible male-equivalents that make you hate yourself for sharing oxygen with, or whatever the fuck they breathe out there.”
“Anyway, stop pausing it just press play!”
