MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT
A local man that has zero connection to the Canterbury-Bankstown area is devastated that the once popular “DOGGGIEESZZ” hip thrust won’t be making a return after the Bulldogs last minute elimination yesterday.
The hip thrust, which was a viral gesture in Sydney schools throughout the 2000s, was reportedly preparing for a comeback as the Bulldogs braced for an out of the ordinary finals run.
“It was just such a fun gesture, you didn’t even have to be a Bulldogs fan to do it, you just had to have two hands, a waist, and the ability to scream “DOGGIEEEZ” in a vaguely ethnic accent” said Brandon Scott (31), a Wests Tigers fan that really wanted to see the Bulldogs do well.
The cancellation of the Bulldogs’ finals hopes has not only crushed his dreams but also sent shockwaves through local primary schools, where rumors of the hip thrust from older brothers and uncles around the nation had reached the youth of Australia.
“I try my best to explain to them the feeling of taking out the King in handball with a clean slog and yelling “DOGGIEESZ”… But they just don’t get it” Brandon lamented.
It seems as though the entire nation is a little bit disappointed by the Doggies’ anti-climactic end to the season, except for one group.
Primary school teachers around the country have collectively let out a sigh of relief now that they have fended off the aggressive and somewhat sexual gesture making a return in 2024.
“It just wouldn’t fly in the climate” Said Sandy Williams (68).
“We already have to spend an hour a day deprogramming the boys from overtly misogynistic content on tiktok.”
“I just don’t think a aggressive hip thrust would’ve sat well with most of the staff”
“Yesterday we were all Sea Eagles supporters unfortunately.”
“We just couldn’t risk it.”
