WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A cheerful geriatric from Betoota Heights has today spoken to The Advocate about a big celebration in town.
While picking up some milk and bread from Dave’s Bakehouse on Smith Street, Brian Waldron explained to our reporter that this ‘halloween rubbish is doing his head in.’
“What a bloody joke,” grumbled Brian, treating everyone to a spiel on his gripe of the day.
Taking a break from whinging about kids constantly being addicted to screens, Brian is now teeing off on the youngest generation getting out with their friends and family and spending time running around their local suburbs.
“All these kids running around like crazy celebrating this commercialised holiday aimed at selling junk!” said the man who hasn’t celebrated Christmas with a church visit since he was single digits of age.
“Do these kids even know what Halloween is about?”
“It’s just this Americanised bullshit that’s rotting their brains,” continued the man who has backed the United States in every single war and geo-political conflict we’ve been dragged into.
When asked what Brian would like to see these kids doing instead, he took a moment before mumbling something about there being no point because they are all mollycoddled and he used to drink from the hose, or something.
No more to come.
