WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
The likely next Prime Minister of the country has today revealed a bold ploy to fix our ailing nation.
Fresh off the back of dismissing the CSIRO’s rejections of his batshit crazy nuclear plan (which is just a one pager with some thoughts on it), Peter Dutton has offered up another nugget of gold.
Taking to Sky News last night, the nation’s Opposition Leader offered the network an EXCLUSIVE SCOOP.
Speaking to some mouth-breather who couldn’t cut it an actual news-organ, Dutton explained that he won’t be standing in front of the Indigenous flags.
The former Queensland cop who refuses to explain why he had to leave the police force, says he won’t have the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander flags behind him when he gives press conferences and the like – if he’s elected to the top job next year.
The huge announcement comes as relief to people who don’t have any real problems other than their kids not speaking to them.
Dutton said the move is designed at uniting the nation under flag, and a judicial system that incarcerates indigenous Australians at a sickeningly higher rate than people like Dutton.
The big fella has yet to confirm how exactly he’ll do it, but sources close to the man have revealed he’ll likely perform some symbolic gesture to remind the nation’s brown people that he doesn’t see them as equals.
When asked what he plans to do about the millions of Australians slipping closer to falling under the poverty line every single day, Dutton shrugged.
He offered a similar response to questions about the rampant price gouging of the nation’s banks, supermarkets, airlines, and energy providers.
He didn’t even bother attempting to answer a question about the nation’s economic future after decades of gutting foundational industries and simply relying on digging shit out of the ground and building high rises.
No more to come.
