EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
City worker, Amy Lee told reporters she’d been looking forward to being reunited with her work bestie, after spending two weeks eating lunch alone and having nobody to gossip to.
Eager for things to get back to normal, Amy had waited at her friend’s desk to surprise her with wine and flowers, when she caught the interest of the resident office creep.
Fueled by the excited cries of young women, all-round shoddy bloke and Senior Manager, Mike, quickly made his way into the girl’s office.
Amy reveals she had felt Mike’s looming presence nearby, and knew he’d take the opportunity to butt into what should have been a wholesome moment.
“Do I get a hug too?”
Appearing like a summoned ghost, Mike had reportedly legged it to their office in under 20 seconds flat.
“I’ve never seen a human move like that,” says Amy, shuddering, “he was even quicker than Brenda is when she hears there’s a cake in the kitchen.”
Due to Mike’s senior status, the two girls felt obliged to give me an awkward hug and say that it lasted for a few seconds too many.
“It was so bad,” says Amy.
“I now can’t smell Lynx Africa without vomiting.”
Mike has worked for the company for a number of years and is known for his predatory behaviour. Despite not contributing much to anything, except the ability to reshape other people’s ideas as his own, the bosses are happy to keep him around.
“Oh he’s harmless,” says fellow Senior Manager and man, Tom, “he’d never do anything.”
A number of women have complained about Mike, but as his behaviour is confined to ambiguous comments and leery looks, the top management are hard-pressed to find a reason to fire him.
“I’m sure they’re all overreacting”, reassures Tom, “I’ve never had a problem with him.”
