ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A study has found that a pair of red p-plate slapped onto an Audi A1 has been found to be one of the key indicators of having a daddy that is not a fan of Federal Treasurer Jim Chalmers.
The study’s findings have been published today by the nation’s peak scientific body, the CSIRO, after the government set out to find who would be most affected by future changes to tax policy in the future.
One local owner of an Audi A1 spoke to The Advocate today and found it funny that indeed her father loathes the Labor Party and all they stand for.
Persephone Dijon-Aize said that despite having the same surname as the pretentious mustard, her family has humble beginnings.
“Dad grew up in South Africa the son of farmers and studied hard at school. He was a humble banker in New York and took a chance when the Soviet Union collapsed and he and some other ‘economic hitmen’ as he says, went over to Russia and loaned companies money to modernise their mines and gas infrastructure. They also bought a lot of weapons and military equipment, which they then sold onto random governments and people like Elliot Amin or something in Uganda and Bosco someone in Rwanda or Rhodesia. Anyway, Dad never used to talk about it,”
“When my friends would ask what he does, I’d just say he was a businessman and did things around the world. But it’s funny how in South Africa how after you get married, the man has to change his name. Dad has a few old passports with different names, it’s so random. There’s a picture of him and Boris Yeltsin in his office. My godfather is actually Anatoly Chubais,”
“So yeah, like, we’re pretty rich but not like super rich. Dad has always said Labor is bad so yeah. But you want to know about my car, yeah? I got it for my 25th birthday after Dad said he would if I got a distinction average at Bond.”
More to come.
