CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Mum has laid down the law this evening, as her meathead sons begin spraying on some cologne and putting on some lairy shirts.
With hopes of maybe rekindling old high school flames, the boys are heading down the local for a Christmas eve piss-up with the hometown mates.
Will they make Church with Nan tomorrow? Time will tell. One thing that is for certain though, Mum is picking them up from the pub tonight.
As hometowns across the country brim with young people returning for family Christmas dos, the local pubs have been relishing in the late December rush of big city coin being splashed on rounds of five or six schooners at a time.
And Christmas eve is the climatic blow out for these venues, as the visitors end up jumping into trays of rum and coke, or midori lemonades for the girls.
It’s the last hurrah before New Years Eve, as the young locals prepare to be overwhelmed with family time for the next week.
But for that family time to be as special as mum wants it to be, she’s laying down an iron fist to ensure everyone gets home from the pub tonight in one piece.
In scenes that are being repeated in households right across the country tonight, mum is demanding that everyone leaves the car keys with her. She will drive them in, and she will drive them home when they’re ready to leave. A flat phone is not an excuse. She knows the publican has a landline behind the bar, and she knows they remember her number off by heart. Even after a skinful.
“But Mum what if someone else drops us off and we need to get into the house” says one of the deadshit sons.
“Nobody will be dropping you off” mum fires back.
“The only car you will be getting into is mine. I don’t care what hour you call, I’m the driver okay”
The sons accept the conditions, and make peace with the fact that mum is probably not the only thing getting in the way of any of them leaving the pub with a good sort tonight.
With the pub kitchen closing at 830pm, and the boys obviously too excited to eat anything, it looks like mum might be making a Maccas run on the way home too.
