EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
As global news cycles churn out unrelenting reports of economic uncertainty, environmental collapse, and general human misery, one small corner of the world remains untouched by despair: cats going ballistic over Christmas tree decorations.
One such magical moment is happening here in Betoota Heights, as the Parker family enjoy their annual tradition of watching Mr Bean make it his mission to thwart all attempts at decorating the Christmas tree.
Having ripped off the tinsel, clawed his way up the tree branches, and chewed two of the Christmas crackers, Mr Bean has well and truly made up for pissing behind the couch two weeks ago.
“I live in constant fear of the western descent towards fascism”, the eldest daughter, Tayla, tells our reporter, “but I digress.”
“The music is pumping, I’ve got my cup of Bailey on ice, and Mr Beans is eating artificial pine.”
“There is much pain in this world, but not in this room.”
She goes on to say more but is interrupted by a peal of laughter, as Mr Bean starts batting at a bauble.
More to come.
