WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Betoota’s resident anthropological expert has today released a groundbreaking report revealing a new phenomena that might be gracing your social media feed.
No, we aren’t talking about ‘brat summer’s’ or ‘demure and mindful’ content, we are talking about your townie cousin living large.
Expert and Professor of Sociology Grant Williams explained that a serious uptick in the amount of euphoric video and imagery being posted by your townie cousins, is directly linked to their tax return.
“Yeah, they’ve sorted their shit out with H&R Block and now they are swimming, or Jetskiing in cash, so to speak,” laughed Professor Williams.
“Flash new tribal on the bicep or an alpha wolf looking thing on the forearm? Yeah, they just got a big tax refund.”
“Or they’ve just been to Bali, but you would have seen stories of cornrows, scooters and Bintang singlets if that was the case.”
Speaking to us from the South Betoota Polytechnic’s Humanities Department, Williams explained that while your townie cousin or your good mate from high school probably isn’t going to tell you they got a serious tax refund, there will be notable signs.
“Yeah, they aren’t going to come up to you and say, ‘Hey I had a bit of a complicated tax return this year with all my crypto and business expenses, so I got H&R Block to do my tax return properly and get me a stacked return,’” said Professor Williams.
“But they are going to turn up to your BBQ with a whole case of 196s or Hard Solos, or post an absolute truck load of pictures and videos of them Dj Khaleding out on their new Jetski.”
“If I had to make a list of things to look out for, it would be this.”
“If you see a combination of 3 or more of these things, then they’ve probably been to H&R Block;”
“Hard Solo/196, bulk orders of KFC, a new Seadoo Jetski, a new sizeable tattoo, flash new Yeti gear, a solar powered battery for their ute or a new Daiwa rod.”
“That’s just a rough list, there’s plenty more indicators of the post July 1 cash injection.”
“And good on em, don’t be bitter, be better, go sort yourself out with H&R Block if you want to live it up too.”
“You can be a sour sack on you phone, or you can be yeeting the back end of a Seadoo on a Gold Coast canal this summer.”
“It’s your choice.”
