LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The buzz of a thousand electric razors was heard across the nation today as young men from all walks of life decided it was high time to get rid of their mullets.
The catalyst of what is being referred to as ‘The Great Unmulleting’ has been identified as substitute teacher William Grambliski who showed up for a PE shift at Betoota Ponds High wearing a new mullet he allegedly thought the kids would find cool.
No less than 15 minutes after the class had ended, the 50% of male students who had a mullet prior to their encounter with Mr Grambliski, had removed their mullets with scissors, razors, or by just ripping them out if the first two items weren’t available.
“I should have known it was dying down when Josh Papalii shaved his off,” stated one formerly mulleted student.
“That fucken’ teacher man, he thought he looked so cool. I swear, he was dead set about to dab at one point.”
Once associated with the ‘80s and people who still think it’s the ‘80s, mullets had a recent resurgence due to their camp aesthetic that led to people finally appreciating them as more than a cringeworthy former fashion choice.
However, it is clear that Mr Grambliski, or Mr G as he insists on calling himself, has driven the final nail in the coffin of the mullet resurgence by wearing one to impress teenagers.
“I got a little three year old at home with a matching one as well!” stated Grambliski, blissfully unaware of the work he’s done to drive up donations for human hair wigs.
“Business up top, party in the back haha! You can use that if you want, just credit me!”
