KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A Sydney rental agent has tested the strength of his plastic shoes this morning as he introduces some prospective renters to another overpriced shithole.
Standing in front Unit 3/27 Inglis Street in the French Quarter, Lincoln Harris, a rental agent for Raine & Horne Central, was seen fumbling with the keys to the $650 a week studio apartment, before giving the door handle a firm jiggle and a little shoulder shove.
Realising he’d brought the wrong set of keys to the rental inspection, and as such had mucked up the one and only purpose of his job which is to open up a door, Lincoln decided he couldn’t fall behind on his busy morning schedule so he’d just put his size 10 Tarocash loafers to good use and kick in the door.
“There you go, lemme just take your names and numbers before you go in,” Lincoln told the queue of renters as the door swung back on its hinges.
“It’s a great place this one, it’ll go quick!”
Ushering all the rental peasants in for a sniff around, Lincoln decided it would be the best use of his time to just stand outside the block of flats and keep watch of his pissy little A-frame, which had a picture of his face on it.
Knowing full well there was a cockroach infestation in the kitchen, and some asbestos falling from the bathroom roof, Lincoln told our reporter the safest place for him to be was standing on the footpath handing out his business cards
“Man, I can’t wait to get out of this rental game,” Lincoln sighed, as he sucked on a spearmint vape and nodded to a potential renter, who excited the studio covering their mouth with their shirt to escape the stench of the place.
“Dealing with these renters is so scummy. My boss said if I can clear five more of these places next month with a jacked up rent, he’ll start letting me have a crack at the big time!”
“Buying and selling baby, the big leagues!”
