WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The nation’s teenagers are absolutely not hitting the griddy today, after learning of some shocking news.
The shocking news comes in the form of a Prime Ministerial announcement from Anthony Albanese – who has revealed a proposal to ban children under the age of 14 from using social media.
The new proposal will force tech companies to limit anyone under the age of 14 from using social media platforms.
The move is aimed at cutting down the screen time of kids, and preventing their brains from rotting like a bit of forgotten fruit in the bottom of their backpacks.
It’s also a rare non-housing investor initiative that has received bi-partisan support, with the Coalition in favour of the move, but hoping for an age of 16 to be imposed.
While most parents, boomers, and people older than 18 are also all in favour of the move – the nation’s teenagers are reportedly furious at the proposal from ‘sussy baka Albanese.’
“Erm…. what the sigma?!??!?!” said 12-year-old Betoota Heights resident Blayke Williams to The Advocate a short time ago – before grabbing his foot in a quad like stretch, hoping around the living room and dabbing in between pulling weird faces.
“Skibidi toilet Ohio rizzzzzzzzzz,” he then said.
“This is the opposite of Rizz from the Prime Minister.”
“Bro really thinks he’s carti.”
“It’s time for Quandale Dingle to declare war on Albo.”
“Sussy baka.”
“Gyatt gyatt gyatt,” he then finished, tweaking and re-focusing on his phone.
Albanese has yet to formally respond to the backlash, but the legislation is set to be introduced before the next election.
More to come.
