WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The man currently doing his best to imitate the President of the United States has today offered a bold new election policy.
Temu Trump (aka Peter Dutton) has confirmed that if he is successful at the upcoming federal election, he will be changing the name of Australia’s most populous state.
Speaking exclusively to the Advocate this morning, Temu explained that New South Wales could soon be a thing of the past.
“Look, my love of British culture is well noted, but this is a modern Australia, and we need to reflect that,” explained Dutton, a man with barely an ounce of Trump’s charisma.
“So New South Wales will become New South Australia.”
When asked why in the middle of housing crisis, cost of living crisis and generational inequity crisis, Temu Trump was focusing on shit like this, he explained that he’s just following the leader.
“America is 49th in life expectancy and upper income families have 75 more wealth than lower income families, and they are focusing on changing the name of a Gulf,” he said.
“So it makes sense for us to be focusing on issues like this, that get people talking and fired up, but don’t actually mean anything.”
“It’s a great distraction from the fact that our nuclear policy is completely unfounded and neither major party are doing anything about grocery prices or the housing crisis.”
“So, one of our first orders will be to wind the people of New South Wales up.”
